“Hurt people hurt themselves and other people and the hurt continues to hurt for generations”

Seeking help can bring about short term anxiety to achieve long term recovery form mental health illness and challenges. Seeking help for some men who experience mental health, emotional health or physical health distress, can be difficult due to the stigma associated and what that means personally and socially. Research shows that there are two levels of barriers or stigma associated with help seeking for most men in seeking therapy. The first is on the personal level, the second is on a systemic or health provider level. As men, we can sometimes find it difficult to say, “I am suffering please help!” It can be easier to beat ourselves up and or put ourselves down instead of being kind enough to recognize and accept that we are human. It can be equally as difficult to say that we are afraid to lose control or to be vulnerable to achieve the healing that we need to be our best with ourselves and others in our roles and functions.

Not all men view seeking help as an act of weakness, or think that they cannot trust the therapist or process. Overcoming these thoughts can help us to get the mental health healing we need. We can feel ashamed and hold some unhealthy sense of pride that increases their burden of our distress. As men when we are not well we can preconceive ourselves as a burden, not the responsibility of our families or our communities, due to our history or our observation of how men are treated when the need or seek help. This is due to the expectation that men suffer in silence and hide the fact that they are human. This results in them suffering mentally, physically, psychologically, financially, which then becomes a self fulfilling prophesy due to our avoidance of seeking help until its too late.

Therapy is and act of self-compassion, self care and healthy self-love. Contacting a therapist is a sign of strength, and a recognition that we are suffering. It says we are ready to take responsibility for our suffering or distressing thoughts, feelings, behaviours and the turmoil in our bodies. it says we are seeking to restore our sense of peace. Taking this step makes the distress and suffering out of isolation, with the help of another person who had healed with the experiences of treatment in therapy.

Older and younger Men are over-represented in mental health system and prison systems, sometime as a result of not being offered the psychological support they need in their communities. Men’s mental health don’t have to be broken before they are offered treatment or accept treatment, usually with medication. If they can have early therapy intervention with talking therapy this number could be lessened.


Below is a YouTube clip that demonstrates how counselling works

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Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for Transformation


Talking therapy such as CBT can help men to manage symptoms of depression, symptoms of anxiety and anger management and improve their relationships. This form of therapy can help Men address issues associated with traumatic life experiences that cause men to develop beliefs that, they are not man enough, good enough, competent enough, human enough to be deserving of good treatment. Beliefs that others cannot be trusted and the worlds is not a safe place can be treated to help restore a greater sense of security in the present and reduce worries about the future.


CBT not only help you to recover your mental health by helping you to achieve positive change in thoughts and behaviours. You will achieve new life skills to that help you become the best therapist or counsellor to yourself and make the therapist redundant. CBT help you to transform your negative ways of thinking and change unhelpful mental behaviours and physical behaviours and reduce distressing emotions such as anger, sadness, depression, low mood anxiety, worthlessness, helplessnes and powerlessness. CBT can help you to understand and align your awarenes with your mind, body and spirit with mindfulness. CBT is effective in improving self esteem, self awareness and self concept in the here and now.


Counselling for Men


Counselling is different for CBT in counseling you talk and is listend to and you come to a new awareness about who you are as person and how you can to develop this picture of your self and change your self concept. Counseling can help you see your experiences different and improve relationships and inner conflicts. It can change the assumptions that the must be broken before they get treatment, or that they cant trust other with to support their healing. It will help you to realise that if don’t have to be rough to be right. The can can assume that they must heal theself in isolation to avoid feeling ashamed or criticised fro being too soft, too weak, to vulnerable. The is result in them hiding the wounds and pain in their minds until its is past treatment with talking therapy.